Why do I want to become a game designer and developer?
Undergraduate
My story began in 2020 when I completed my undergraduate studies. Although my major was computer science, I found programming uninspiring at that time. Sitting in front of a computer to code did not appeal to me, and I had not yet created or developed anything I considered particularly interesting. Moreover, I did not feel a sense of meaningful progress or outcomes from studying computer science, so I lacked excitement and motivation to pursue a career as a programmer.
However, in addition to my major, I completed a certificate in game design, similar to a minor but with fewer course requirements. Through this experience, I discovered that designing games—primarily board games—was both intriguing and rewarding.
Pandemic
At the same time, the COVID-19 pandemic emerged, prompting schools to transition to remote learning and requiring me to stay at home constantly. This period was particularly stressful and challenging, marked by uncertainty about my future, job prospects, classes, and overall direction. Due to this lack of clarity, I found myself playing video games day after day and often throughout the night as a coping mechanism to manage stress, distract myself, and escape from reality. I felt anxious and apprehensive about the unpredictability of the future.
Mess
After graduation, I returned to Guangzhou, China, and stayed at home. Although I informed my parents of my intention to pursue graduate studies, I made minimal effort toward preparing or applying to graduate schools. Instead, I continued to spend most of my time playing video games. While I am unsure whether I was experiencing depression during that period, my life felt disorganized, directionless, and empty. I had little social interaction, limited connections with others, and lacked hope for the future. My days were characterized by self-doubt, insecurity, and a persistent lack of motivation. At the time, nothing interested me except playing video games and watching esports and motorsports.
Videogame
However, among all the video games I played, there was one that stood out to me significantly: Hell Let Loose, a multiplayer tactical first-person shooter. In this game, players engage in historically iconic battles from World War II’s Western, North African, and Eastern fronts, experiencing combat at the platoon level.
What particularly struck me was the game’s realistic portrayal of warfare, where a single shot could result in instant death—accurately reflecting the brutal realities faced by soldiers during World War II. My fascination extended beyond the quality of the gameplay; it profoundly altered my perspective on life itself. Playing this game prompted me to reflect deeply on the fragility of life. Soldiers on the front lines during World War II never knew how long they would survive, facing immense brutality and desperation, yet they courageously fought to reclaim territory and protect their nations.
This reflection led me to reconsider my own circumstances. I realized my personal struggles were insignificant compared to the life-and-death risks those soldiers endured. This insight motivated me to regain control of my life, appreciate the opportunities I already had, and move forward with gratitude and renewed purpose.
Social
Meanwhile, I formed many meaningful friendships after joining a player community called Aurora Brigade within this game. With over 150 members, our group regularly participated in global competitions together. This experience significantly reduced my sense of social isolation and provided immense enjoyment and fulfillment through our shared gameplay and teamwork.
Hope
In 2022, I began to see hope again. I was particularly inspired by Lionel Messi’s journey. Before winning the World Cup, Messi endured significant challenges, including experiencing a difficult departure from his long-time club, Barcelona, in 2021, and facing adaptation struggles at Paris Saint-Germain. However, his perseverance was rewarded through achievements with his national team, winning the Copa América in 2021 and the World Cup in 2022. Messi’s story deeply resonated with me, providing inspiration, courage, and determination to move forward into the next chapter of my own life.
New Chapter
Fortunately, I was accepted into Carnegie Mellon University’s Entertainment Technology Center (ETC), where I have had the privilege of meeting talented and supportive peers. This experience has allowed me to see how programming and game design can be effectively combined to create extraordinary, meaningful, and innovative projects. My perspective on programming has shifted significantly—I now genuinely enjoy coding and problem-solving because I can directly see my progress and the results of my work. I am determined to maintain this positive momentum throughout the remainder of my time at ETC and into my future career. Regardless of what challenges lie ahead, I no longer feel afraid—I am ready and confident to face them.
I want to create engaging interactive experiences
to inspire joy and connection
because I believe games have the power to bring people together and enrich their lives.